I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
