and you said cock pushups were impossible
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
