i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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