I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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