He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize