I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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