Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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