So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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