you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I know her cup size but not her name....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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