96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize