i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We need to get me chipped asap
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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