you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize