so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
