And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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