I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
