your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
