Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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