Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He passed out mid-signature
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
