We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
