My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize