He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
