batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
love makes seman taste better
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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