I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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