I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
