nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
