I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize