I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I will be naked everywhere
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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