I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize