i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
