Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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