What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
