Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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