the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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