My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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