Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
