is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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