You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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