just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
