so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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