Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
