Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
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but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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