I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i dont even know how to be here
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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