oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
