my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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