Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
