So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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