Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
