office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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