Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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