Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
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