Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
