a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
