awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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