if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
