My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
