i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
