If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
