do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
