jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
