so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
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I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
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My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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