They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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