I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
